just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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