perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
