the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
