Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
