**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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