Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
