You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
