Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
