Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
