now i know why i became what i already was.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
