wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
