I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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