I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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