That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
