She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize