For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
