I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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