i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
