i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
