Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
