the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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