If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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