I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
