i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
