Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
