it hurts more in the daytime
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think your dad took our porno
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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