So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
