sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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