GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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