he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
