My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
