it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
