I want to have your abortion
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
