think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
