i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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