at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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