fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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