she woke up with a sticky ear
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
