y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
