he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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