We won't sleep together?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
