I just saw a hot homeless man
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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