so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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