I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
