I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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