I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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