Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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