I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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