12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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