I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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