I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
