Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
