I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
