Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
